Happy Thanks-birthday

November 26...My birthday, and also every few years it is also Thanksgiving...:) talk about a super good Birthday dinner!!!

We had a great day, I woke up and made 2 pumpkin Pies, and 30 deviled eggs, got ready, got the kids ready, and headed to town to meet the fam for thanksgiving at 12:30. Lunch was delicious as always (one thing I can definately say about my family...they sure can cook!) Then we all played UNO and PHASE 10 until bedtime.

Funny it really wasn't anything exciting, special, or out of the ordinary, but it really is nice just to hit home base once in a while and have good quality family time, and I don't mean JUST mom and dad, I mean the whole fam! No stress, no worries, just good plain loving caring family. I had a blast, it was a great birthday AND thanksgiving! plus I got a TON of "happy birthday's" on my facebook, man I really didn't know I had that many people who gave a crap about me...maybe I should start being more thankful for the people I have in my life.

Walking along a fenceline...

I know that I am not the only one who feels this way sometimes, I know that its normal to question yourself and your morals, standards, ethics and it probably is actually healthy to touch base with that occasionally. However, lately I feel like all I do is question myself, why is that? I feel like every aspect of my life are fighting against eachother...this internal battle, no one thing ever wins or gets close enough to cancel any other, but its constant fighting pulls at every angle.

I've never been in a situation that i didnt' really know what side I was on, what stand i would take or what option I would fight for. I have been listening to a song a lot lately, like obsessively, and usually when I get stuck on a song or lyric or movie or whatever it is because I need to figure out the message that is lying in the lyrics, words or whatever. Here are the Lyrics I have been so stuck on the last few days....so much so that its running through my head constantly, and always in the back of my mind.

walking along the fenceline

got my hands in my pocket, got a million things on my mind

well Im not sure what im tryin to find

so i just keep walking , knowing it will come with time

walkin along the fence line.

The Song continues and continues to make me think about everything. I just want someone to step in and tell me whats going on and what to do, but I know I have to just keep walking, and know it will come with time.

Man, maybe sometimes I am just too hard on myself~

There are times in every paretns life that they wonder if they are getting anywhere with their children, if they are teaching them the things they need to know for life and if the children are picking up at all what you are hoping they do. Thats where I have been at for quite a while...I think that my kids are just blowing me off 90% of the time and that I have to be failing miserably as a parent in that area. Then they do things occasionally that make me think maybe im not doing such an awful job. Thats what happened earlier today and again this evening. Earlier the kids were wanting a snack and I had told them NO because they had already had their snack and I didn't want to ruin supper. So Carter continues...

"can i have a cookie"
"nope"

"a candy?"

"nope"

"well, I can have some grapes...."

"Carter, I said no!"

"grapes are good for me, and so are apples mom, I can have them, they aren't junk!"

Man, he has me there! and I am so proud of him for recognising that all the snacks he was asking me for were junk and knew that I would tell him no because of it, but surely I couldn't say no to something healthy! hahaha I hate to admit it, but the little smarty got a few grapes for that one!

Later this evening, Jaysen, who seems to be the one who pulls stupid stunts most and who I seem to wory about most. He just seems to be oblivious to logic half the time and does things that are so silly and strange and absent minded. Well tonight we had French Toast for supper, of course we had syrup with it. Jaysen, not paying any attention poured his on the floor instead of the plate (yep, those are the silly absent minded things i am talking about) He looked at me with a look of confusion on his face and says

"well, I guess I should get a towel"
"yep, I guess you should" I replied.

So as he is getting a towel and cleaning it up he stops and starts digging under the sink. I wondered what on earth he was doing, because spills are a regular happening in our house, usually wiped up and forgotten about. He got the spray cleaner out and said "I think ill use this also since syrup is so sticky, I don't want to leave a sticky smear on the floor for everyone to walk on." WOW! I couldn't believe that he not only wiped up the mess but thought to actually get rid of the sticky mess!!!

Moral of the story is that even though it isn't obvious all the time that the kids are picking up the things im throwin at them, they are. When they do show you that they are comprehending all the things, it is such a great feeling of success~

Also we finally got to do Jaysens Parent teacher conference. It started to feel like we were never going to get it done, but FINALLY! He is doing great in school, his teacher had great things to say about him and couldn't say enough how sharp his mind is. He really is a great kid!!! :)

25 random things about me...

1. I am 25 years old (but only for 15 more days!)

2. I have 4 children but would really like to have 2-3 more.

3. I think I am a very capabal mother however usually I don't think I am being a very good mom.

4. I enjoy reading non fiction and love learning about presidents...

5. I hate stupid television shows

6. I am actually very shy, I hate being around people most of the time.

7. I am a bunny hugger. I am with an avid hunter, but I hate the idea of killing animals.

8. I am so ridiculasly unorganized that it makes me crazy! but in the same hand i never can do anything to change that!

9. I love living in the country and never ever want to live in town or in a city.

10. I want to be a very successful business woman...but I don't really want to ever work away from home

11. My dream job is being a police officer, but I will probably just continue working towards being a Teacher.

12. I have a stupid obsession with pens. like writing pens. I love them, and have a ton.

13. I also have an obsession with vampires. I know its stupid, but i think i was ment to be one.

14. I want to homeschool my kids.

15. I have one Brother, his name is Jeremy and he is 7 years older than me.

16. I am addicted to Facebook, and I am starting to become addicted to my blog also.

17. I love going for walks late at night.

18. I went to europe when I was younger, and really really want to go again.

19. I want a Great Dane or a beagel.

20. When I was little I used to pretend I was magic, and my MAGIC all came from dust in my pocket...yep real dust, like DIRT! haha

21. I don't believe in immunizations or most medical care.

22. I hate halloween and easter, and I love thanksgiving (which is usually also my birthday) I tolerate christmas.

23. I think it is mean to lie to kids...especially about things like the tooth fairy and santa...but I do it anyhow.

24. I hate baseball and golf and nascar.

25. I love getting suprise mail...like letters, cards or packages when I don't expect them!

there are the 25 random things about me...there are plenty more but they aren't all that interesting really! I noticed that as I was writing them...man, i am kinda boring, maybe I need to work on that!

I'm pretty sure I have the cutest little girl in the world!!! (I may be a bit biased though)

Well, today I finally got Kennedi's pictures taken...yeah, the last time was when she was 6 months old. Yikes. Talk about last child syndrom. Isn't it funny how that works...with Jaysen and Brock we have tons and tons of pictures...every milestone, every excuse we got pictures done, with Carter we had them done a few times, here and there, with poor Kennedi she has so few...I mean we have plenty of snapshots, but as far as professional pictures go, one 6 months, one at 22 months.

Anyhow, we had a great time doing them, the ones above I stole from the photographers website, but its ok because ill buy the entire CD...and I wanted to get a couple on here. She is such a HAM. She had a blast being the center of attention and I enjoyed playing dress up with her. By the end we were all pretty much exhausted and ready to call it quits.

On a different note, I am doing a project called "operation christmas child." For those of you who dont know, it is where you fill a shoe box of toys or misc little gifts and they get sent to a child who will otherwise have no christmas. I honestly think that I am more excited to send this to a random child than I am having christmas with my kids. We were going to only do one box, but have decided that each of my kiddos will make a box to send. I think it is a wonderful way to instill the idea of christmas as GIVING not I WANT I WANT I WANT. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when we as a family do something like this and would love to do more...if anyone knows of any organizations or things that you can suggest that are similar let me know. And if you are interested at all in participating in OPERATION XMAS CHILD please let me know and I will get you the info you need!!!

When life throws you lemons....do what again?

Ok, so here I am, a stay at home mom, and happy as can be doing it. I always planned on going back to work, but not until Kennedi starts school. So my opportunity came 3 years early. What do I do now? I have a chance to start a job (one that i would only think I could dream of without an education) but the opportunity is now and I have to admit, I am a bit torn. I know my kids would be fine without me, I know that I would enjoy the social aspect of a job away from home, I also know that the holidays are coming and a little extra would be great right now. It is a part time job, and fairly flexable, which is wonderful and I think it has the possibility of growing into a full time job later...awesome. I guess in all reality the choice is made...I just need to accept that I don't get to be home with the kids all day and I really need to find someone who will babysit...UGH. Anyone have any suggestions?

Carters gotta girlfriend.....hahaha

So I babysit for a friend of mine after school, this picture if of Carter and her daughter Tavyn. Well, carter informed me the other day that Tavyn was his BEST FRIEND, and she agreed. The next day however...they no longer are best friends. Tavyn is Carters GIRL FRIEND!! haha wow, 3 years old and already? Im not totally sure how to feel about the whole thing, but i have to admit it is pretty darn cute!

Jaysen has his Parent Teacher conferences tonight, I am a little excited, and also a bit nervous, we will see how it goes later. I am sure he is doing fine.