Remembering spontaneity

Wednesday, Apr 7th, 2010
By Rochelle Stitt

This is my column from the opinion page in the Torrington Telegram.


As a young mother of four, life doesn’t always go according to plan. In fact, it seldom does. When you look at the whole scheme of things, does it really need to?Have you ever sat and listened to an elderly person tell their life stories – maybe your grandparents as a child or parents as an adult or maybe just someone you stumbled across? Their stories of childhood are the greatest. They are always in depth and full of emotion and joy from the “good old days.”My grandparents used to tell stories from their childhood and I remember laughing and just listening with a huge smile on my face. I remember thinking, their lives were so happy and full of joy, and they had so much fun. They have memories from years and years ago. Nothing from the last few decades erased those memories from their minds. While other things slip, the important memories remain. I am sure the lingering stories, the ones passed down for generations, didn’t happen according to plan. The memories that stick are spontaneous life events – the ones that weren’t supposed to happen. Now I wonder if they were smiling or cursing while the events they tell stories about were actually happening? I wonder how long had to pass before the story went from a mishap to a great memory and something they wanted to share for decades? When I am elderly and all I have left are the memories of my past, I want to remember the times I stopped and appreciated my life and its spontaneity. The times I laughed instead of cried when something went wrong.My mom has always said to me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all just small stuff.” As I get older, the annoying saying starts to make more sense then ever. As you go through your daily schedule, remember being spontaneous isn’t always bad. Breaking out of the routine can bring you happiness and lasting memories to share later in your life. As a mother, these are the things that bring joy to my children’s faces and put the sparkle in their eyes.The next time your child misses the school bus, your car gets a flat tire on the way to an appointment or your boss throws something at you that wasn’t expected, don’t let yourself get angry, try to remember to smile and make the best of it. Life is what you make it. Happy-go-lucky people don’t have better or easier lives than the rest of us, they have a better outlook on life. They smile when things go right and laugh, shrug their shoulders and carry on when they go wrong. Their lives are not without stress or mishaps, they don’t get lucky and never have bad things happen, they just remember to deal with them positively and make the best of a bad situation. When you let yourself get down and dwell on the negative, bad things always seem to show up. The opposite has the same effect. When you dwell on the positive, you will notice your life is full of it. Always remember to frame every so-called disaster with these words, “in five years will this matter?” Just keep taking that next small step, because life isn’t fair, but it is still good.