I wonder if at some point I will stop being so bitter and actually be happy for Casey that he has something that he loves so much. I have yet to understand the "thrill" of hunting. I don't get it, I just cant comprehend getting THAT excited and THAT stimulated just to go freeze your behind off and HOPE that you may see something you want to shoot. UGH
plus Hunting means that he is gone. He is not with us, and I hate him being away. He works all of the time...12-15 hour days most of the time, and a lot of times doesnt have a day off. So the days he has off I hold kind of sacred in a sence, I am kind of greedy and want him to myself and the kids. I don't want to share him with his friends so they can go hunting or bowling or anyting else.
Beyond the whole not understanding it thing, is the fact that I am totally jealous of it. I just realized that today. I'm definately NOT jealous of the whole "hunting" thing, i am jealous of the fact that he has a hobby that he really truely LOVES as where I enjoy reading and I enjoy photography and I enjoy scrapbooking, I cant say that i have anything in my life (as far as hobbies go) that really makes me genuinly happy and excited.
I am also jealous that he gets to leave the house and go spend time with guys friends and get rid of stress and relax. Man I cant even remember what that is like! or the last time I did something like that.
I guess maybe I just really need to find a hobby that I love, but I don't even know where to start, or how.
Maybe the whole stay at home thing has totally ruined my social skills. I don't even know how to go about being social and finding new hobbies....that would include doing something new, which- heaven forbid-means being around NEW people also...YIKES
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